


And So, Here We Are

by zonerunner



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2019-01-20 00:54:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12421656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zonerunner/pseuds/zonerunner
Summary: Hey everyone! So, seeing as today is the first anniversary of the first Sanders Sides video, I decided to write this fic to celebrate! Expect a lot of reminiscing and a couple of self-deprecating remarks from Virgil. Enjoy!





	And So, Here We Are

Virgil’s eyes fluttered open to piercing sunlight shining through the gaps between the curtains and the wall. Groaning, he rolled over, sitting up before running a hand through his messy hair and going to the bathroom to put on his makeup. Once he had applied the usual amount of eyeshadow, he made his way downstairs. A few months before, he would have stayed in his room for longer, maybe even all day, but things were different now. Now he knew that the other sides wouldn’t mind him being down there, and that staying in his room would only heighten his anxiety.

 

“Morning, Virgil!” Patton greeted him with a smile from where he was sitting on the sofa. “Did you sleep well?”

 

“I did actually, thanks. Do we have any plans for today?” Virgil asked over his shoulder as he went to the coffee machine, making himself a cup.

 

“I don’t, but the others might. You’ll have to ask them when they come down,” Patten responded.

 

“Alright. Hopefully nothing’s going on. Truth be told, I don’t really feel like doing much today, just relaxing.”

 

Having finished making his coffee, Virgil took the mug and sat down on Patton’s right, taking a sip of the hot liquid.

 

“How are you, Patton? Are you alright?” Virgil asked him seriously. He knew Patton had been feeling down since the breakup a couple of months ago; being parts of Thomas, the sides had taken it just as hard as he had.

 

The heart looked at him with a sad smile on his face. “I’m coping. I miss him, you know? There’s still a lot that reminds me of him. But Thomas doesn’t need to be in a relationship to be fulfilled. He - we - can be happy without him. It’ll take time, but Logan was right when he said things can get better.”

 

“He was,” Virgil agreed, squeezing Patton’s shoulder in a gesture he hoped was comforting. As he did so, his mind went back to how he’d been in the past - reclusive, isolated, alone. The Virgil of a year ago would never have dreamed of being this physically close to someone, let alone engaging in this type of conversation, or this type of casual physical contact. Things really could change.

 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Patton asked, a confused smile on his face.

 

“Just thinking. Being all kinds of reminiscent,” Virgil answered.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Well, think about it. Here we are, talking heart-to-heart about something personal, sitting right next to each other, when a year ago, even six months ago, I was trying so hard to be dark and unapproachable so I could tell myself I was okay with you guys hating me.”

 

“Oh Virgil, that’s not true!”

 

“Hey, I know. I’m trying to learn to accept that, for some weird reason, you guys actually kind of care about me. I think.”

 

“Of course we do, Frank Fearo.” Roman’s voice sounded from behind them, causing them both to turn around.

 

“Sounds like someone’s been doing their research on band members,” Virgil smirked.

 

“Spending time around you, a prince picks things up,” Roman fired back.

 

“If you’re picking things up, how about my self esteem from the floor?” Virgil joked.

 

“No, don’t say that!” Patton protested.

 

“I’m only kidding,” Virgil reassured the emotional side.

 

“You’d better be kidding, or I’ll fight you,” Patton mumbled.

 

“You? Fight someone? Sure, Patton.” Roman raised his eyebrows sarcastically, making his way round the sofa. “Move over, I need to sit down.”

 

“Move over? There’s literally so much space, Princey,” Virgil pointed out. “Just sit next to Patton.”

 

“Suits me,” Roman agreed, flopping down dramatically. “So, anyway, what did I interrupt?”

 

“Nothing much, just a little nostalgia trip,” said Virgil.

 

“Virgil and I were just reminiscing about how we all used to be with each other,” Patton added.

 

Roman groaned. “God, I used to be so awful. I tried so hard to be loud and upbeat, I was just so extra all the time. And I was so mean to you, Virgil. I truly am sorry.”

 

“Hey, relax. It’s in the past now,” Virgil assured.

 

“Yeah, but-”

 

“No buts. It’s in the past, Roman. We’ve moved on since then. We all look out for one another, and we value each other for who we are. We know each other better now. We’re  _ family _ , Roman.”

 

“I guess,” Roman sighed.

 

“Hey, don’t feel bad about something that’s long over. You’ve grown, you’re a better person now. You beat yourself up over things too much as it is, don’t add this to the list.”

 

Roman nodded, face suddenly breaking into a smile. “God, this is a lot for a Thursday morning.”

 

Patton laughed. “Yeah, I guess we’re all feeling a bit nostalgic today, for some reason.”

 

“True,” Virgil agreed. “Hey, remember when Roman was an egotistical jerk?” He laughed.

 

A look of mock offence on his face, Roman opened his mouth, but Patton spoke before he could. “He still is now,” Patton grinned, quickly adding, “I’m joking, obviously.”

 

“Well, remember when Virgil got Thomas into My Chemical Romance?” Roman fired back.

 

“I regret nothing.” The darker trait shrugged.

 

For the next few minutes, the three sides continued to swap memories, thinking back over the past year, two years, ten years, from little things like going to the park to bigger events in Thomas’ life, such as his first concert.

 

“Do you guys remember Vine?” Patton’s voice was excited.

 

“No, I completely forgot about the platform that put Thomas out into the world and paved the way to where he is today,” Virgil replied, tone dripping with sarcasm.

 

“Yeah, alright, calm down.” Roman rolled his eyes, smiling. “Hey, do you two remember when Virgil used to shut himself out and exclude himself from the rest of us?”

 

Virgil’s smile faltered briefly; although he was able to regain his happy posture almost immediately, both Roman and Patton caught on.

 

“Wait, no, I didn’t mean it like that!” Roman hastily tried to take his words back. “I just meant that you’re more included now!”

 

“No, it’s fine, Roman. You didn’t mean it in a bad way.” Virgil tried to dismiss it, but being the embodiment of anxiety, he felt understandably negative when he thought of the way things used to be, even though it was, as he frequently told himself, all in the past.

 

“No, it isn’t.” Roman sighed. “It took a lot for you to open up to us fully, and ever since you told us your name, you’ve been so open and different. You were really brave, you know, in finding the courage to be yourself and admit a lot of stuff about yourself and I shouldn’t undermine that with my insensitivity. I’m sorry.”

 

Virgil was silent for a moment, searching for the correct way to verbalise his thoughts. “You don’t need to apologise, Roman. And yeah, I’ve told you a lot about myself, how I thought I didn’t matter, how I deliberately separated myself from you guys, how I really just… hated myself, so many other things. But at the same time, you’ve told me so much about you. All of you. It’s just… before, we were all just individual parts of Thomas. Now, though, I feel like we really know each other, you know?”

 

“I understand what you mean,” Patton agreed. “We’ve all become a bit more honest with each other than we used to be. There’s no…” He paused, as though trying to find the correct words. “There’s no need to be someone we’re not anymore, because we know we’ll be accepted for who we are.”

 

“Even if who we are is an uncool mess of self-doubt and bad ideas,” Roman spoke up.

 

“I wouldn’t call them bad,” Virgil remarked. “But I agree with Patton. Let’s face it - I hate myself, Patton’s an emotional mess, Roman thinks he’s not good enough, and Logan-”

 

“-Is learning to let himself feel.” A low voice came from the stairs, and the three turned to see Logan standing there, a faint smile on his face. How long had he been listening? “I know it’s unhealthy to bottle up one’s emotions, but it’s something I’ve been doing for a long time. And, if I’m continuing on the subject of being more open, I’m getting better at showing my feelings. Even the brain has emotions.”

 

A year ago, Logan would have shied away from the scene on the couch - the others engaging in an emotional moment - as soon as he’d come down the stairs, refusing to let himself experiencing emotion. Now, though, things were different, and he stuck around, feeling a sense of pride at how far the others had come, and also a slight pride in himself, for admitting to feeling something.

 

Virgil smiled, an understanding pride in his eyes. “Come over here, Logan. Sit down. Feel free to push Roman onto the floor while you’re at it.”

 

“Hey!” Roman’s indignant tone made Patton laugh.

 

Logan sat down, completing the scene - the four sides, sitting next to each other, not as traits or housemates but as family. They’d come so far in their lives, and though not everything was perfect, it was much better than it had once been. Although they were all feeling particularly nostalgic, they couldn’t help but think forward to the future. Who knew what was in store for them? If things were like this now, how would they be in the future? Even Virgil hoped that the future would be even better than the present. The relationships between were more natural and genuine than ever before. They trusted and cared for one another, and were all trying to accept themselves.

 

Things may not have been perfect for the sides, but they were good. And good was enough for all of them.


End file.
